And then it exploded.

Done! That was maybe the longest exam EVER, but at least it is done. Our boards are entirely computerized, and are made up of 8 1-hour blocks of  44 questions. Each question is actually a vignette, so it starts out “A 45 year old female presents with blah blah blah.” And then they give you a short history, and the physical exam findings, and some labs, and some images, etc. And then they ask the question about it. So basically, you want to kill yourself by the time you get to question 275 or so. But everybody gets through it, and it feels like some kind of right of passage or something, and then you go eat a big phat bowl of pho when you are finished.

My brain is really feeling doughy right now, so I have to save the discussion about pho for a time when I can really do it justice. If I could only eat one meal for the rest of my life, it would be pho. Do any of you guys love it?? We must discuss this.

I have to go collapse on the couch now and recoup myself with some trash tv. I do promise to come up with some substantial posts in the very near future, but for now, let me leave you with a picture montage of what happens when your boyfriend is 14 inches taller than you, AND finds himself really good looking.

Oops, let’s try again.

Yup, you’re still that tall.

Getting closer! But you cut off your eyes…that just won’t do.

Ahh, that’s better.  My eyebrows! Cute.

Well I sort of made it! But somehow I got confused on the way there? Whatever, we’re framing it and saving it FOREVER.

And this one.

So cute!

Goodbye.

My public demands it!

By that I mean, one person told me to add another post, once. It counts!

There are no good excuses. I won’t even try. It’s a vicious cycle of procrastination and guilt about the procrastinating, and before I know it 78 months have passed. Plus, if I don’t post anything, maybe you won’t remember that I haven’t posted anything in 178 months. So it’s kind of your fault, is what I’m trying to say.

I haven’t cooked much of anything over the past several months. I had been living out of a suitcase (high school sports dufflebag.. too broke for actual luggage) and the trunk of my car, and staying in hotels. For reals. I guess I felt like that was license to eat every meal out. I never thought I would say this, but I actually got sick of eating out. I so desperately wanted to make myself some oatmeal or something else homey-y, so I did that once when I was in Toledo for a weekend. Then I had to do the dishes with old oatmeal stuck to them, and I got over that.

I spent July here:

Maybe it’s the fact that I had heard the name spoken as if it were a High Holy Day since I was little, maybe it’s the fact that the name reminds me of sandwiches, or maybe it’s just that they let me in here, but I definitely drank the kool-aid… I thought this place was the shit. It was one of the first places I’ve worked at that I would be comfortable bringing my family to for treatment, and where excellence is the rule, rather than the exception. It was like being star-struck, nerdy medical school style. Swear to god, the lobby is all marble and Dale Chihuly pieces. Plus, the service I was on treated a famous actor/director for a super-rare disease. True story! I asked him if he liked Dlisted and Real Housewives and stuff, but he was too encephalopathic to answer. I’m kidding!! I stood outside the door and wrestled with the idea of introducing myself, then turned around like 8 times awkwardly and walked away. I wish I could say his name, but I’m legally bound not to, and my sister is a lawyer and reads this. And my dad totally guilt-tripped me for telling him. (Also, a lawyer). Fuck HIPAA.

Also kidding!! Please still come to me when you need a doctor. Ugh, enough jokes, I’m annoying myself.

So then I spent August doing research in Detroit (dump), September doing radiology up here, and October studying for the boards.

I take the board exam tomorrow. I took one about a year and a half ago, and I was so nervous I almost gave myself an ulcer. This year, I’ve just got too much shit to worry about right now.. I don’t have enough energy to give it the appropriate hand-wringing! But after that is over with, I really am going to post some posts. I’ll tell you all about how much fun trying to get a residency is, and show you how I do Halloween. Get excited!

This Beet’s a Byoot

I file away comments like “Oh I hate beets” in the same basket as comments like “I don’t believe in vaccines” or “I only take all-natural supplements”. That would be the “I don’t know what to say to you next, so I’m just going to look at you awkwardly” basket. I have had a lot of practice looking awkward. Does it surprise you to learn that I have been wholly unsuccessful in converting these people to my way of thinking? For that reason, I will not be surprised if no one runs out and makes some roasted beets tonight. I will, however, judge you for it.

Beets are like God’s little vegetably gift to people. They are cheap as hell, full of nutrients (I don’t even know which ones, but tons, I’m sure of it), tender but substantive, and very delicately and DELICIOUSLY flavored. They go with everything!! AND, and, they basically cook themselves. Roasted beets do not equal beets from a can. So if those are the only beets you have tried, please do not go around slandering them. God hates that.

Roasting beets could not be simplererer. You lob off the tops, wrap them in tin foil, and put them in the oven. Seriously, thats it!! Besides peeling them when they are done. Cara taught me how, and she says to put any balsamic vinagrette over them. I must eat them with goat cheese. It has been ordained. I have this great recipe that I will have to post later for a cold beet and yogurt dish which maybe sounds gross but is actually phenomenal. Plus, the yogurt turns this arrestingly pink color that makes you feel like you are eating something radioactive. But guess what? It’s ALL NATURAL.

The first draft of this post had a lot more medicine/bitching stuff in it. But I was worried it would alienate readers. I only have like 3.  I need to pick out a very neutral medicine-y story for next time.

So the beets… here they are, prepped for the oven.  Cara says you have to put them in a glass baking dish. I have been thinking about this since I started baking them today, and I haven’t been able to come up with the rationale behind it. Let me know if you do.

Aaaand, here they are 1 hour and 15 minutes of 400 degree baking later:

They look the same.

So you let them cool, and then peel the outer skin off. It comes off really easily.

I took the pictures outside on my balcony, for lighting purposes. This is when my crazy neighbor downstairs saw me and said “Roasted beets?!? I never heard-a thhhemmm.”  Ugh.

Next, I diced them up, and tossed them in some homemade balsamic vinagrette. I used some dijon mustard, raspberry vinegar, olive oil, and a pinch of salt. Too easy! Sprinkle a little more salt over the dressed beets, and chill them before you eat them!

Just TRY them, picky eaters (Lindsey)

This is how my whole life goes. And Vietnamese Salad.

I canNOT believe that it has been almost 2 months since I last posted. Outrageously unacceptable! Remember how I said before that I procrastinate? Until the point that even I am annoyed with how irresponsible I am? Well, proof. I even avoided looking at other cooking blogs, so that I didn’t have to feel shame in my heart for my shortcomings. BUT, today is a lovely day outside, and lovely days always make me want to take care of my business. It’s a mystery. So, along with this blog update, I will also be doing dishes, packing for a weekend at home, and studying. Minus studying. Plus tv watching.

Truth be told, I took these pics ages ago. I wish you would give me the tiniest bit of slack though… I have been working 80 hour weeks. Well, “working” is kind of a stretch. I mean, I have been paying tens of thousands of dollars to do free labor/”learn”. It’s very glamorous.

FINALLY on to the FOOD.

I love this salad. I mean, I LOVE this salad. When I make it, it will literally be the only thing I eat for days. Is that weird? It probably is. This salad is simple to make, but the flavors are very complex. The dressing has a fish sauce base to it– but don’t be scared away by that. It’s not fishy! You add lots of lime juice, red pepper flakes, rice vinegar, etc and it blends wonderfully. I like to load up the fresh mint and cilantro (seriously, it’s not possible for me to put on too much) and top it with some sauteed shrimp. I’m practically drooling just thinking about it. If you like asian flavors.. make this. Tomorrow. This salad is absolutely perfect for hot weather, because it is 1)served cold and 2) guilt-free and chock-full of vegetables.

Because this is just a salad, I think a step-by-step would be overkill. Let’s switch it up, and start with the recipe! We crazy.
I got this from one of my mom’s cookbooks. Can’t remember which one. So I’m just going to take credit for it.

The Dressing..aka Nuoc Cham.  Here is what you will need:

4 T rice vinegar

6 T fresh lime juice

½ cup fish sauce  (buy it at an asian grocery..much cheaper)

½ cup water

4 T sugar

2 cloves of garlic, minced

1 t red pepper flakes

2 T long fine carrot shreds

Combine rice vinegar, lime juice, fish sauce, water and sugar in a small bowl. Stir until sugar dissolves. Add garlic, pepper, carrots. Stir. Cover and let stand at least 1 hour.

Photographic illustration of my well-crafted nuoc cham:

It is essential for you to include rice noodles in this salad. You will just have to take my word on that.  If they are dry noodles, I soak them in warm water until they are flexible (10-20 minutes) and then add them to boiling water (just has to be enough to cover them). When the water starts to boil again, they are done! Drain them, and then rinse with cold water.

This is the brand I always grab from the store–

So once they have been totally cooled down from the rinsing, and you have drained off the excess water, you should toss them with a little oil. This keeps them from sticking together. My favorite favorite type to use is this sesame flavored chili oil. I sprinkle it on liberally (probably too liberally), and then I drink it from the bottle.

OK. Ready for the bones of the salad?

You start with a leafy green. I prefer napa cabbage for this salad, but I already had some romaine. And it was still great. I generally slice it into 1/2 inch shreds. Put a little bed of noodles on top. Now add your additional accoutrements in any order you like. I’m very flexible that way.

Carrots (pre-shredded), cucumbers, bean sprouts, obscene amounts of chopped cilantro and mint, and chopped peanuts are non-negotiables for me. DO NOT skip the cilantro and mint. Or the peanuts. Ok or anything!! Don’t even make the salad if you are going to skip them. I’m very inflexible that way.

Shrimp is optional.

Now, pour on whatever amount of dressing you find to be reasonable and call me to tell me how crazy you are about this salad.

Heaven in a bowl.

Eggs in Spicy Tomato Sauce

Today in psychiatry was full of some pretty wild individuals.  I would love to share some of the stories here, but any funny stories I tell end up sounding more like I’m making fun of someone, and any serious stories sound too dark for this lovely sunshine of a blog.

I do, however, think it is fitting to tell the story of my first day on my psych rotation. The outpatient practice where I was working in Columbus serves a lot of the city’s homeless population with psych issues. I was in the lobby, waiting for the person I was working with to come and get me. Within 5 minutes, a woman had come up and insisted that I take the orange furry hat she had evidently brought just for me, AND wanted to see how it looked on me. Then, these 2 other guys could not stop laughing at the fact that my boots looked like I was “wearing my socks on the outside” and one of them said, “I’m gonna buy you some shoes!” Apparently, I look SO bad that even homeless people feel the need to give me charity. Awesome. What’s even worse, is that this was my first day and I was actually trying to look put together. Umm, fail.

In other news, tonight I made this for dinner. I wanted something spicy, and I have been wanting to try this recipe for a long time. Noble Pig had a similar recipe up (inspiration to finally try this recipe!), and I incorporated some of her ingredients into this as well. All in all…quite satisfying. Also, spicy. So, mission accomplished. Try making this on the next rainy day… it’s pretty damn good comfort food, and isn’t even bad for you. Except for the bacon fat. I can’t be perfect!!

Let’s begin, class.

You start by getting some bacon (3 slices) going in a deep skillet, over medium heat I guess. Who cares. Just let it cook.

Now, you need a small onion. Or, if you are like me, you need the 1/4 of an onion that you had in your fridge, and the 2 shallots you found in the back of the pantry. Perfectly reasonable.

Slice those suckers up. Voila:

Sorry about the excuses

Look, I’m busy, okay???

Actually, I’m not. I’m on my psychiatry rotation, which is like, so cush. But I have been staying at my parents’ house for most of it, and I didn’t do any cooking there. Just eating of other people’s cooking. The point is, don’t give up on me yet! I promise to have some new entries up soon. Blow your mind entries, even. In the meantime, this is a picture of my Minnetonkas at a lakehouse in Wisconsin. It feels like lakehouse weather today, and that is lovely. People in my family know exactly what that feels like. Minnetonk-high-five, peeps.

Eyes akimbo for the next entry.

Cook Yourself a Husband: the Marlboro Man sandwich

Truest story ever told: When I made this sandwich for my boyfriend, the first sentence out of his mouth after taking a bite started with “If we get married..”

That, ladies, must be the power of meat, and magic. Some people call the magic ‘love’, but I usually just call it butter.

Fair-ish warning: This is not a sandwich for every day. This is definitely not a sandwich for those look-in-the-mirror-what-the-hell-is-THAT-bulge kind of days. This is best on a cold day, after you have been outside in the snow (like when you carry groceries in from the car), and someone that will be eating this has done some kind of physical labor. (Umm, it’s totally fine to glom onto their calorie-expenditure. These sandwiches won’t cook themselves.) But really, guys LOVE this sandwich. Actually, girls love this sandwich. But guys think about marrying you when they eat this sandwich. I feel that’s a pretty good endorsement.

I wish I could say I made this recipe up, but its another Pioneer Woman recipe. Ugh, she’s so good. It’s annoying. Don’t look at her blog page instead!
Ok, do.

But then make this. You will thank me.

I’m going to put an abbreviated step-by-step here, because the Pioneer Woman has one up too. Redundancy is lame.

Addictions and the Scone

I’ve spent a lot of time recently thinking about this. Why do we do things that we know are not good for us? Why, for instance, do I waste time I don’t have, on TV I shouldn’t be watching, and money I didn’t earn, on things I don’t need? Why, instead of studying for my family medicine exam, did I make these delicious cranberry-orange scones? Ahh, the powers of addiction. I, for one, am addicted to procrastination. Also, coffee (new addition). I will find any, any, any excuse to put something off until the LAST possible minute. “Oh my gosh, Modern Marvels: The Potato is on. There is NO way I can miss this.”

I really didn’t get just how strong the pull can be for some people, until this year. During my internal medicine rotation, our team was seeing patients in the critical care step-down unit. These are the people who have just come out of the ICU. We smelled cigarette smoke, so another student and I went to find out which room it was coming from. I assumed it was a visitor trying to smoke in the room, and I was almost speechless when I found a patient with a tracheostomy, trying to smoke by holding the cigarette up to the tube. She had just been taken off the ventilator, and could barely breath on her own yet. She looked at me and mouthed “I’m sorry.” I was, too.

Today I saw a woman who had her gallbladder removed a week or so ago. She had developed an abscess, and was doubled over in pain. We told her she would need to stay to get IV antibiotics, and possibly an incision and drainage of the abscess. She told me there was no possible way she could stay, because she had way too much to do. I tried to explain that she could actually die from this, if it was left untreated. She said, “Look, I’m a smoker. I haven’t had a cigarette in 2 hours, and I am dying here. I can’t stay in this hospital unless I can smoke.” We promised her as many nicotine patches as she could stand, and let her go outside in the snow and smoke before rolling her back in, in a wheelchair. It felt ridiculous.

It’s interesting to know that no matter what the addiction is– cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, yummy baked goods–the brain chemistry driving it is the same. Our friend, the ventral tegmentum.  I remind myself of this whenever I feel myself getting frustrated with people who refuse to help themselves.

In honor of the ol’ VT, let’s make some scones, shall we?

This tastes like man food… Braised Short Ribs

My sister Cara braved 500 inches of snow in her death trap grandma car to visit me! It was very nice. We decided to celebrate her survival by making ourselves food with plenty of butter in it. And, wine. As an added bonus, I got to use the Le Creuset dutch oven I recently requested for Christmas! It was a very inappropriate purchase, since its really big and I almost never use it, and outrageously expensive. I make bad choices like that all the time. Too bad for me.

So the recipe we made was Braised Short Ribs with Goat Cheese Polenta. We did something right, because it was AWESOME. We also did something very wrong though, because we watched The Forgotten while making it. It was so bad I couldn’t even get scared, and I get scared at anything even remotely suspenseful. Including… Scary Movie. True story. But the food was so good, we almost didn’t care. It’s actually really simple to make, but the flavors come together so perfectly. It’s rich and filling, without being overwhelming. Girls will like it too, but I have a feeling guys will love it. I just sent my sister over to her (capital F) Friend’s house with some, so we’ll see what he says.

The only drawback to the dish is that it takes several hours from start to finish. It’s totally hands-off once you get it into the oven, but if you have no patience (me), it can feel like forever. If you feel like impressing people with your mad cooking skills, make this next weekend. It tastes like it requires a lot more skill than it actually does. Probably because it has plenty of pancetta, butter, and goat cheese. God’s precious miracles.

Here comes the recipe, plus tips and pictures. Most of the photo cred goes to Cara.

Smores Indoors

One of my favorite cooking blogs is Annie’s Eats, and a lot of that has to do with her pictures. I had a go at her recipe for Smores cupcakes. I wanted to bring something in to the office where I’ve been rotating, and these seemed like a worthy choice. The physician I’m working with is allergic to basically everything but eggs and chocolate. You might recognize her from  the Little Giants. Minus the foam padding.  Anyways, these looked really good, and I don’t think they will invite anaphylaxis.

I’ve heard many times that baking is a much more exact science than cooking, and I believe that. It’s really just tasty chemistry. I took organic chemistry. And I definitely want to consider myself a scientifically-oriented person. You know, the kind that can.. pay attention to detail?

Well.

I really hope I don’t fail at life like I do at baking. Do you think these cupcakes look cute? Well guess what..these are the best few of my SECOND batch of 24. I had to do a dry run earlier in the week (I’m SO aware of my baking shortcomings). I learned some secrets.