My brain is really feeling doughy right now, so I have to save the discussion about pho for a time when I can really do it justice. If I could only eat one meal for the rest of my life, it would be pho. Do any of you guys love it?? We must discuss this.

I have to go collapse on the couch now and recoup myself with some trash tv. I do promise to come up with some substantial posts in the very near future, but for now, let me leave you with a picture montage of what happens when your boyfriend is 14 inches taller than you, AND finds himself really good looking.

Oops, let’s try again.

Yup, you’re still that tall.

Getting closer! But you cut off your eyes…that just won’t do.

Ahh, that’s better.  My eyebrows! Cute.

Well I sort of made it! But somehow I got confused on the way there? Whatever, we’re framing it and saving it FOREVER.

And this one.

So cute!

Goodbye.

There are no good excuses. I won’t even try. It’s a vicious cycle of procrastination and guilt about the procrastinating, and before I know it 78 months have passed. Plus, if I don’t post anything, maybe you won’t remember that I haven’t posted anything in 178 months. So it’s kind of your fault, is what I’m trying to say.

I haven’t cooked much of anything over the past several months. I had been living out of a suitcase (high school sports dufflebag.. too broke for actual luggage) and the trunk of my car, and staying in hotels. For reals. I guess I felt like that was license to eat every meal out. I never thought I would say this, but I actually got sick of eating out. I so desperately wanted to make myself some oatmeal or something else homey-y, so I did that once when I was in Toledo for a weekend. Then I had to do the dishes with old oatmeal stuck to them, and I got over that.

I spent July here:

Maybe it’s the fact that I had heard the name spoken as if it were a High Holy Day since I was little, maybe it’s the fact that the name reminds me of sandwiches, or maybe it’s just that they let me in here, but I definitely drank the kool-aid… I thought this place was the shit. It was one of the first places I’ve worked at that I would be comfortable bringing my family to for treatment, and where excellence is the rule, rather than the exception. It was like being star-struck, nerdy medical school style. Swear to god, the lobby is all marble and Dale Chihuly pieces. Plus, the service I was on treated a famous actor/director for a super-rare disease. True story! I asked him if he liked Dlisted and Real Housewives and stuff, but he was too encephalopathic to answer. I’m kidding!! I stood outside the door and wrestled with the idea of introducing myself, then turned around like 8 times awkwardly and walked away. I wish I could say his name, but I’m legally bound not to, and my sister is a lawyer and reads this. And my dad totally guilt-tripped me for telling him. (Also, a lawyer). Fuck HIPAA.

Also kidding!! Please still come to me when you need a doctor. Ugh, enough jokes, I’m annoying myself.

So then I spent August doing research in Detroit (dump), September doing radiology up here, and October studying for the boards.

I take the board exam tomorrow. I took one about a year and a half ago, and I was so nervous I almost gave myself an ulcer. This year, I’ve just got too much shit to worry about right now.. I don’t have enough energy to give it the appropriate hand-wringing! But after that is over with, I really am going to post some posts. I’ll tell you all about how much fun trying to get a residency is, and show you how I do Halloween. Get excited!

Aaaand, here they are 1 hour and 15 minutes of 400 degree baking later:

They look the same.

So you let them cool, and then peel the outer skin off. It comes off really easily.

I took the pictures outside on my balcony, for lighting purposes. This is when my crazy neighbor downstairs saw me and said “Roasted beets?!? I never heard-a thhhemmm.”  Ugh.

Next, I diced them up, and tossed them in some homemade balsamic vinagrette. I used some dijon mustard, raspberry vinegar, olive oil, and a pinch of salt. Too easy! Sprinkle a little more salt over the dressed beets, and chill them before you eat them!

Just TRY them, picky eaters (Lindsey)

Truth be told, I took these pics ages ago. I wish you would give me the tiniest bit of slack though… I have been working 80 hour weeks. Well, “working” is kind of a stretch. I mean, I have been paying tens of thousands of dollars to do free labor/”learn”. It’s very glamorous.

FINALLY on to the FOOD.

I love this salad. I mean, I LOVE this salad. When I make it, it will literally be the only thing I eat for days. Is that weird? It probably is. This salad is simple to make, but the flavors are very complex. The dressing has a fish sauce base to it– but don’t be scared away by that. It’s not fishy! You add lots of lime juice, red pepper flakes, rice vinegar, etc and it blends wonderfully. I like to load up the fresh mint and cilantro (seriously, it’s not possible for me to put on too much) and top it with some sauteed shrimp. I’m practically drooling just thinking about it. If you like asian flavors.. make this. Tomorrow. This salad is absolutely perfect for hot weather, because it is 1)served cold and 2) guilt-free and chock-full of vegetables.

Because this is just a salad, I think a step-by-step would be overkill. Let’s switch it up, and start with the recipe! We crazy.
I got this from one of my mom’s cookbooks. Can’t remember which one. So I’m just going to take credit for it.

The Dressing..aka Nuoc Cham.  Here is what you will need:

4 T rice vinegar

6 T fresh lime juice

½ cup fish sauce  (buy it at an asian grocery..much cheaper)

½ cup water

4 T sugar

2 cloves of garlic, minced

1 t red pepper flakes

2 T long fine carrot shreds

Combine rice vinegar, lime juice, fish sauce, water and sugar in a small bowl. Stir until sugar dissolves. Add garlic, pepper, carrots. Stir. Cover and let stand at least 1 hour.

Photographic illustration of my well-crafted nuoc cham:

It is essential for you to include rice noodles in this salad. You will just have to take my word on that.  If they are dry noodles, I soak them in warm water until they are flexible (10-20 minutes) and then add them to boiling water (just has to be enough to cover them). When the water starts to boil again, they are done! Drain them, and then rinse with cold water.

This is the brand I always grab from the store–

So once they have been totally cooled down from the rinsing, and you have drained off the excess water, you should toss them with a little oil. This keeps them from sticking together. My favorite favorite type to use is this sesame flavored chili oil. I sprinkle it on liberally (probably too liberally), and then I drink it from the bottle.

OK. Ready for the bones of the salad?

You start with a leafy green. I prefer napa cabbage for this salad, but I already had some romaine. And it was still great. I generally slice it into 1/2 inch shreds. Put a little bed of noodles on top. Now add your additional accoutrements in any order you like. I’m very flexible that way.

Carrots (pre-shredded), cucumbers, bean sprouts, obscene amounts of chopped cilantro and mint, and chopped peanuts are non-negotiables for me. DO NOT skip the cilantro and mint. Or the peanuts. Ok or anything!! Don’t even make the salad if you are going to skip them. I’m very inflexible that way.

Shrimp is optional.

Now, pour on whatever amount of dressing you find to be reasonable and call me to tell me how crazy you are about this salad.

Heaven in a bowl.

I do, however, think it is fitting to tell the story of my first day on my psych rotation. The outpatient practice where I was working in Columbus serves a lot of the city’s homeless population with psych issues. I was in the lobby, waiting for the person I was working with to come and get me. Within 5 minutes, a woman had come up and insisted that I take the orange furry hat she had evidently brought just for me, AND wanted to see how it looked on me. Then, these 2 other guys could not stop laughing at the fact that my boots looked like I was “wearing my socks on the outside” and one of them said, “I’m gonna buy you some shoes!” Apparently, I look SO bad that even homeless people feel the need to give me charity. Awesome. What’s even worse, is that this was my first day and I was actually trying to look put together. Umm, fail.

In other news, tonight I made this for dinner. I wanted something spicy, and I have been wanting to try this recipe for a long time. Noble Pig had a similar recipe up (inspiration to finally try this recipe!), and I incorporated some of her ingredients into this as well. All in all…quite satisfying. Also, spicy. So, mission accomplished. Try making this on the next rainy day… it’s pretty damn good comfort food, and isn’t even bad for you. Except for the bacon fat. I can’t be perfect!!

Let’s begin, class.

You start by getting some bacon (3 slices) going in a deep skillet, over medium heat I guess. Who cares. Just let it cook.

Now, you need a small onion. Or, if you are like me, you need the 1/4 of an onion that you had in your fridge, and the 2 shallots you found in the back of the pantry. Perfectly reasonable.

Slice those suckers up. Voila:

You also have to chop up some chipotle peppers in adobo sauce. I found a small can of these in the international aisle of a my grocery store, and it looks like this–

I really wanted it to be spicy, so I used 3 of the peppers. It didn’t turn out crazy-spicy, but you could definitely use less without losing much in the way of flavor. The rest can be stored in the fridge for a special day. Like, the day that you finally will yourself to clean out the chipotle peppers that have been in there for 3 months.
Aren’t they pretty though? They also remind me of madagascar cockroaches. I probably shouldn’t say that in a food blog.

These can be kind of messy, but I just kind of squished them around under my knife. Don’t worry about the seeds, and juice, and all of that. It can alllll go in.
By this time, the bacon has probably rendered all of its life-blood, so take it out of the pan and put it on a paper towel-covered plate.

Add the onion/shallots into the rendered fat, and let them cook over med-low heat for a few minutes. In the meantime, I chopped up some garlic. You need 2 cloves.

Ok, here’s the thing. This looks like 2 cloves.. BUT– what if, when you peel off the skin, there are two separate pieces INSIDE?! Then how many cloves do you have?? These are the dilemmas that plague me.

Anyways, you can add the peppers and garlic in with the onions, after the onions have been cooking for a good 5 minutes.

Let everything cook together for about 1 minute. Make sure to stir it frequently, because you don’t want the garlic to burn.

Then, add in a 28 oz can of whole, peeled tomatoes. I picked this brand

because it looked fancy, like they have in cooking shows! But it was cheaper than the Cento brand. I’m not that fancy.
Mix everything together, and get it simmering. I left the lid on. I don’t know why.

Total, you want to let everything simmer for 15-20 minutes. During that time, you need to break up the tomatoes with the back of a spoon. I happen to be totally impatient, so I broke all of them up in the first few minutes. This is probably intuitive to normal people, but it’s actually a lot easier to do this if you let the tomatoes simmer for a while first.

At this point, salt and pepper to taste. I decided to add in some canned, drained kidney beans because I wanted a chunkier dish, with some added nutrition.

Now comes the fun part! Were you wondering what happened to the eggs in this egg dish??

Here they are. I only used two tonight, because.. well because I’m eating alone. (sad) But you can put in as many eggs as you can fit into the pan. First, though, you break the egg into a small dish,

and use this to slide the egg gently into the tomato sauce.

Use a spoon to “scoop out” a small area within the sauce,

and slide the egg in.

Let the eggs cook gently in the sauce (ie lowest of low heat), covered, for about 9 minutes (according to the recipe). According to me, you have to let it cook for at least 15 minutes, maybe 20. I think this may have something to do with the fact that I pulled the lid off at least 10 times. It’s a character flaw.

This same character flaw is the reason I didn’t take a picture of the eggs in the sauce, fully cooked. I was too impatient, and forget to take the picture! Oops.

To make up for it, I will show you what the finished dish looks like!

Toast a piece of bread, and spoon an egg onto it. Also spoon on a nice hefty serving of beans+tomatos+onions+sauce. Top with a little basil, and maybe a little chopped bacon! Feast your eyes on THIS, my friends:

It’s spicy, smoky, beany, TASTY. And really surprisingly filling! I could only eat one and a half of these.

Here is the recipe, adapted from Everyday Food, with additions from Noble Pig.

Eggs in Spicy Tomato Sauce

Ingredients:

3 slices bacon

1 small onion, sliced

2 cloves garlic, chopped

1-2 tablespoons of chopped chipotle chilies in adobo sauce

1 (28 oz) can of whole, peeled tomatoes

1 small can of red kidney beans, drained

4 eggs

4 slices of whole wheat toast

Several leaves of basil, chopped

Directions:

Brown the bacon in a deep skillet or pot. Once browned, remove from pan onto a paper-towel-lined plate. Leave rendered fat in pan.

Add onion to pan, and cook on medium-low heat for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add in chipotle peppers and garlic and cook for 1 minute, stirring frequently.

Add tomatoes to pan and stir. Simmer, covered, for 15-20 minutes. Break tomatoes up with the back of a wooden spoon. Salt and pepper to taste.

Add kidney beans and stir to incorporate.

One by one, break each egg into a small dish, and gently slide it into the sauce, into a well created with a spoon. Space the eggs out evenly in the sauce.

Cover and cook eggs gently on low heat for 9-15 minutes, or until egg whites are set. Spoon one egg onto each piece of toast, along with some of the sauce. Sprinkle basil and some chopped bacon on top. Serve immediately.

Look, I’m busy, okay???

Actually, I’m not. I’m on my psychiatry rotation, which is like, so cush. But I have been staying at my parents’ house for most of it, and I didn’t do any cooking there. Just eating of other people’s cooking. The point is, don’t give up on me yet! I promise to have some new entries up soon. Blow your mind entries, even. In the meantime, this is a picture of my Minnetonkas at a lakehouse in Wisconsin. It feels like lakehouse weather today, and that is lovely. People in my family know exactly what that feels like. Minnetonk-high-five, peeps.

Eyes akimbo for the next entry.

Truest story ever told: When I made this sandwich for my boyfriend, the first sentence out of his mouth after taking a bite started with “If we get married..”

That, ladies, must be the power of meat, and magic. Some people call the magic ‘love’, but I usually just call it butter.

Fair-ish warning: This is not a sandwich for every day. This is definitely not a sandwich for those look-in-the-mirror-what-the-hell-is-THAT-bulge kind of days. This is best on a cold day, after you have been outside in the snow (like when you carry groceries in from the car), and someone that will be eating this has done some kind of physical labor. (Umm, it’s totally fine to glom onto their calorie-expenditure. These sandwiches won’t cook themselves.) But really, guys LOVE this sandwich. Actually, girls love this sandwich. But guys think about marrying you when they eat this sandwich. I feel that’s a pretty good endorsement.

I wish I could say I made this recipe up, but its another Pioneer Woman recipe. Ugh, she’s so good. It’s annoying. Don’t look at her blog page instead!
Ok, do.

But then make this. You will thank me.

I’m going to put an abbreviated step-by-step here, because the Pioneer Woman has one up too. Redundancy is lame.

Start with the onions. I used little ones from one of those bags of onions. It was such a pain. Just buy yourself one big one. Slice em up!

Saute the onions in 2 T of butter, until they are soft and starting to brown. Remove them from the pan and set aside when they look like this!

Meanwhile, jog to the store and buy yourself some cube steak. It’s the same thing as “extra tenderized round steak” or some such thing. It looks like meat that has tire tracks in it. Slice it into strips, slicing against the grain.

Confession: I always get a little bit nervous when people tell me to slice against the grain.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell! Actually it’s not, but I’m always second-guessing myself. It’s weird. Just cut at a right angle to the tire tracks.

Sprinkle some Lawry’s seasoning salt all over the meat. You can pretty much put on however much you want. For me, that meant about 15 shakes. I was using a little over 2 pounds of meat.

Now you’ve gotta heat up 2 more tablespoons of butter over high heat, and when it starts to brown, add the meat into the pan. Let it brown on the first side. Try not to move the meat around and check it every 15 seconds to see if it is going to brown (me). Flip it, try to brown the other side. There was too much liquid in the pan for me at this point to accomplish that. It doesn’t matter. Just let it get nice and grayish. Mmm.

Ready to finish it off? Add in 1/2 cup of worcestershire sauce, and 5-6 good shakes of tabasco sauce. You can add more of either if you want it saucier or spicier. Add in (brace yourself) 2 more tablespoons of butter. Mix everything up, and add back in the onions. How simple is that??

Butter some hoagie rolls, and brown them. I did it by putting them butter-side-down in a non-stick pan, over med-high heat. You could use the broiler too. Don’t ask me how! I’m not a broiler-er.

Spoon some meat and onions into a bun, and then spoon some of the sauce over top!

Now eat it.

Who said life isn’t easy??

The Marlboro Man Sandwich

from The Pioneer Woman Cooks

Ingredients

• 1 whole Large (or 2 Small) Onions
• 2 sticks Butter (lots And Lots Of Butter)        Note: I didn’t use 2 sticks. More like 1.
• 2 pounds (to 3 Pounds) Cube Steak
• Lawry’s Seasoned Salt (or Similar Seasoned Salt)
• ½ cups (approximately) Worcestershire Sauce
• Tabasco Sauce, To Taste
• 4 whole French/deli Rolls (earthgrains Are Best!)

Preparation Instructions

Slice onions and cook in 1/4 stick butter until soft and light brown. Remove and set aside.

Slice cube steak against the grain. Season with Lawry’s.

Heat 2 tablespoons butter over high heat (in same skillet) until melted and beginning to brown. Add meat in single layer. Cook one side until brown, then flip and cook until brown, about a minute on both sides.

Add 1/2 cup (at least) Worcestershire sauce, 5 to 6 shakes Tabasco, and 2 tablespoons butter. Add cooked onions. Stir to combine.

Butter halved French rolls and brown in skillet.

To assemble, lay bottom half of French roll on plate. Place meat mixture, followed by a spoonful of juice from the pan. Top with other half of roll, cut in half, and devour!

I’ve spent a lot of time recently thinking about this. Why do we do things that we know are not good for us? Why, for instance, do I waste time I don’t have, on TV I shouldn’t be watching, and money I didn’t earn, on things I don’t need? Why, instead of studying for my family medicine exam, did I make these delicious cranberry-orange scones? Ahh, the powers of addiction. I, for one, am addicted to procrastination. Also, coffee (new addition). I will find any, any, any excuse to put something off until the LAST possible minute. “Oh my gosh, Modern Marvels: The Potato is on. There is NO way I can miss this.”

I really didn’t get just how strong the pull can be for some people, until this year. During my internal medicine rotation, our team was seeing patients in the critical care step-down unit. These are the people who have just come out of the ICU. We smelled cigarette smoke, so another student and I went to find out which room it was coming from. I assumed it was a visitor trying to smoke in the room, and I was almost speechless when I found a patient with a tracheostomy, trying to smoke by holding the cigarette up to the tube. She had just been taken off the ventilator, and could barely breath on her own yet. She looked at me and mouthed “I’m sorry.” I was, too.

Today I saw a woman who had her gallbladder removed a week or so ago. She had developed an abscess, and was doubled over in pain. We told her she would need to stay to get IV antibiotics, and possibly an incision and drainage of the abscess. She told me there was no possible way she could stay, because she had way too much to do. I tried to explain that she could actually die from this, if it was left untreated. She said, “Look, I’m a smoker. I haven’t had a cigarette in 2 hours, and I am dying here. I can’t stay in this hospital unless I can smoke.” We promised her as many nicotine patches as she could stand, and let her go outside in the snow and smoke before rolling her back in, in a wheelchair. It felt ridiculous.

It’s interesting to know that no matter what the addiction is– cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, yummy baked goods–the brain chemistry driving it is the same. Our friend, the ventral tegmentum.  I remind myself of this whenever I feel myself getting frustrated with people who refuse to help themselves.

In honor of the ol’ VT, let’s make some scones, shall we?

I started out by zesting two oranges. I love zesting, it’s so satisfying. That’s also because I have a microplane grater… love that thing.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, add in 4 cups of flour. I used 2 cups of all-purpose flour, and 2 cups of whole wheat pastry flour (this completely cancels out all the butter and sugar!).  Then, add in 1/3 cup of sugar, 2 T baking powder, 1 1/2 teaspoons of salt, and 2 T of orange zest. Mix on low speed to combine.

Dice up 3 sticks of butter (cringe). The butter should be really cold! Here’s roughly how small I chopped up mine:

Add this into the bowl of the stand mixer, and mix on low to combine. In the original recipe, they said to mix until the butter pieces were the size of peas. My butter pieces stayed exactly the same size, so.. whatevs.

Next, you need 4 eggs and 1 cup of half and half.

Lightly beat them together, and slowly add it to the flour mixture, with the mixer on low. The mixture gets thick and sticky, pretty fast.  I had to stop the mixer several times, and use a spatula to scrape it off the paddle. It immediately clumped back up into one big glob.  Grool.

Mix 1 cup of dried cranberries with 1/4 cup of flour, and mix it into the glob. Not an easy feat.

Now comes the messy part. It was so messy, I couldn’t even take pictures. You have to scrape the dough out of the bowl, onto a very well floured surface. My dough was so sticky, I basically plopped handfuls of flour down,  and then sprinkled everything in my kitchen with flour. Use the flour liberally, is where I’m goin’ with this.

Knead the dough into a ball. Or, if you are me, push at it a few times with your fingertips until it is in a roundish shape. Coat your rolling pin with… flour! And roll out the dough until it is 3/4 of an inch thick. Use a 3-inch biscuit cutter to cut out rounds. I don’t own a 3 inch biscuit cutter, so I used a some-inch drinking glass. Works the same! Put the rounds on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Don’t be afraid of the bits of butter still visible in the dough. They are a sign of the deliciosity to come.

Now you can give these bad boys an egg wash. Just whisk together 1 egg with 2 tablespoons of either water or milk, and brush a little onto each scone. Then sprinkle them with sugar. Unspecified amount. So.. until it looks nice and healthy.

Time for baking. 400 degrees for about 18 minutes, or until they are golden brown on top. This is always the trickiest part of baking for me. How do you really know when it’s done?? I feel like those kids at fireworks. Dad, is this the finale? No.  Oh….is THIS the finale??

Almost the finale:

The last step is to make an icing to drizzle on top. Just whisk together 4 teaspoons of freshly squeezed orange juice with 1/2 cup of powdered confectioner’s sugar. I made a double batch, because I am generally gluttonous like that. Drizzle away.

The finale. Mmm. I could really use some coffee right about now.

Recipe adapted from Ina Garten’s Barefoot Contessa

Cranberry Orange Scones

Ingredients

• 4 cups plus 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup sugar, plus additional for sprinkling
• 2 tablespoons baking powder
• 1 and 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 2 tablespoons grated orange zest
• 3/4 pound cold unsalted butter, diced
• 4 extra-large eggs, lightly beaten
• 1 cup cold Half and Half
• 1 cup dried cranberries
• 1 egg beaten with 2 tablespoons water or milk, for egg wash
• 1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar, plus 2 tablespoons
• 4 teaspoons freshly squeezed orange juice

Directions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, mix 4 cups of flour, 1/3 cup sugar, the baking powder, salt and orange zest. Add the cold butter and mix at the lowest speed until the butter is the size of peas. Combine the eggs and half and half and, with the mixer on low speed, slowly pour into the flour and butter mixture. Mix until just blended. The dough will look lumpy! Combine the dried cranberries and 1/4 cup of flour, add to the dough, and mix on low speed until blended.

Dump the dough onto a well-floured surface and knead it into a ball. Flour your hands and a rolling pin and roll the dough 3/4-inch thick. You should see small bits of butter in the dough. Keep moving the dough on the floured board so it doesn’t stick. Flour a 3-inch round plain or fluted cutter and cut circles of dough. Place the scones on a baking pan lined with parchment paper. Collect the scraps neatly, roll them out, and cut more circles.

Brush the tops of the scones with egg wash, sprinkle with sugar, and bake for 18-20 minutes, until the tops are browned and the insides are fully baked. The scones will be firm to the touch. Allow the scones to cool for 15 minutes and then whisk together the confectioners’ sugar and orange juice, and drizzle over the scones.

My sister Cara braved 500 inches of snow in her death trap grandma car to visit me! It was very nice. We decided to celebrate her survival by making ourselves food with plenty of butter in it. And, wine. As an added bonus, I got to use the Le Creuset dutch oven I recently requested for Christmas! It was a very inappropriate purchase, since its really big and I almost never use it, and outrageously expensive. I make bad choices like that all the time. Too bad for me.

So the recipe we made was Braised Short Ribs with Goat Cheese Polenta. We did something right, because it was AWESOME. We also did something very wrong though, because we watched The Forgotten while making it. It was so bad I couldn’t even get scared, and I get scared at anything even remotely suspenseful. Including… Scary Movie. True story. But the food was so good, we almost didn’t care. It’s actually really simple to make, but the flavors come together so perfectly. It’s rich and filling, without being overwhelming. Girls will like it too, but I have a feeling guys will love it. I just sent my sister over to her (capital F) Friend’s house with some, so we’ll see what he says.

The only drawback to the dish is that it takes several hours from start to finish. It’s totally hands-off once you get it into the oven, but if you have no patience (me), it can feel like forever. If you feel like impressing people with your mad cooking skills, make this next weekend. It tastes like it requires a lot more skill than it actually does. Probably because it has plenty of pancetta, butter, and goat cheese. God’s precious miracles.

Here comes the recipe, plus tips and pictures. Most of the photo cred goes to Cara.

Chop up a medium onion, 3 carrots, and 2 shallots. Don’t bother peeling the carrots, and a rough chop is fine. (Rustic/lazy). Put it in the sunlight to make it look cooler.

Salt and pepper the short ribs, and dredge them in a 1/4 cup of flour. Now wash your hands! Gross, E. coli.

Heat up the dutch oven over medium heat, and throw in 6 slices of pancetta, chopped. Cara thought it would be much easier to cut them up with kitchen shears. I preferred to smear them about with my knife unsuccessfully. Tomayto tomaahto.

Cook it until it gets nice and crispy and the fat is rendered. Something like this:

Now pull the pancetta back out (leave in as much fat as you can!) and add 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Turn the heat up just a little bit. You really never need to go higher than med-high with the cast iron cookware, even for searing. Just let the oil heat up for minute or two. Then, throw in the short ribs! You want to brown each side. It will take around 45 seconds for each side. You will know when it is ready, because the meat will “release” from the pan– ie, you can pick it up without it sticking.

Watch out for oil spatters. Sting-y little suckers.

Actually, don’t watch out for them. There is nothing you can do to avoid them! Except wearing oven mitts, which I sometimes do.

Once everything is nice and brown, take it back out!

Now you can throw in the carrots, onion, and shallots. Mix them around, and let them cook for a couple minutes. Don’t worry about the brown bits in the pan. It’s part of the magic.

Add 2 cups of red wine, and let it come to a boil. Make sure you scrape up all the magic from the bottom of the pan. Let it come to a boil, and cook for 2 more minutes. Then, add the beef or chicken broth (again, 2 cups).  I only had chicken broth, and it was already measured out in these handy 1 cup containers.

Another shining example of the Bad Choices I Make With My Money.

Now you are ready to add a little salt and freshly ground black pepper. Mix it up, and adjust the seasoning, if you so desire. Add the ribs back in! Nestle them down, bone-up, in the liquid. You want to have the meat covered as much as possible. We added the pancetta back in, because, it tastes good. Throw a sprig of rosemary and thyme on top. Slap the lid on, and put it in the oven. Cook it at 350 degrees for 2 hours, then at 325 for 30-45 more minutes. When it’s done, let it sit on the stove, lid on, for about 30 minutes.

While it sits, you can make the polenta. It’s SO easy. Just boil 4 1/2 cups of water in a saucepan. SLOWLY add in 1 cup of yellow cornmeal, whisking the whole time. Otherwise, you get lumps.

Reduce the heat, add 1 teaspoon of salt and 2 tablespoons of butter, and simmer it for 15 minutes, whisking occasionally. Then, add in the lovely lovely goat cheese. Keep stirring. Then taste it. If it tastes delicious, it is ready.

You are ready to plate it up. Put a bed of polenta down in a shallow bowl, and nestle 2 ribs down in it. Spoon some of the vegetables and sauce over it. Try to look civilized as you devour it.

Just so you don’t think we’re all uppity and always eat with soft lighting and wine glasses….

Allow me to show what is directly to our left:

And our right:

I’m leaving it up for Valentine’s Day!

Don’t judge me.

Here’s the recipe, from The Pioneer Woman:

Braised Short Ribs

Ingredients

• 8 whole Beef Short Ribs
• Kosher Salt & Pepper To Taste
• ¼ cups All-purpose Flour
• 6 pieces Pancetta, Diced
• 2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
• 1 whole Medium Onion, Diced
• 3 whole Carrots, Diced
• 2 whole Shallots, Peeled And Finely Minced
• 2 cups Red Or White Wine
• 2 cups Beef Or Chicken Broth (enough To Almost Cover Ribs)
• 2 sprigs Thyme
• 2 sprigs Rosemary

Preparation Instructions

Salt and pepper ribs, then dredge in flour. Set aside.

In a large dutch oven, cook pancetta over medium heat until complete crispy and all fat is rendered. Remove pancetta and set aside. Do not discard grease.

Add olive oil to pan with the pancetta grease, and raise heat to high. Brown ribs on all sides, about 45 seconds per side. Remove ribs and set aside. Turn heat to medium.

Add onions, carrots, and shallots to pan and cook for 2 minutes. Pour in wine and scrape bottom of pan to release all the flavorful bits of glory. Bring to a boil and cook 2 minutes.

Add broth, 1 teaspoon kosher salt, and plenty of freshly ground black pepper. Taste and add more salt if needed. Add ribs to the liquid; they should be almost completely submerged. Add thyme and rosemary sprigs (whole) to the liquid.

Put on the lid and place into the oven. Cook at 350 for 2 hours, then reduce heat to 325 and cook for an additional 30 to 45 minutes. Ribs should be fork-tender and falling off the bone. Remove pan from oven and allow to sit for at least 20 minutes, lid on, before serving. At the last minute, skim fat off the top of the liquid. (Can also refrigerate mixture, then remove solid fat from the top.)

Serve 2 ribs on bed of creamy polenta, spooning a little juice over the top.

Creamy Goat Cheese Polenta

Ingredients

• 1 cup Yellow Cornmeal
• 1 teaspoon Salt
• 2 Tablespoons Butter
• 4 ounces, weight Goat Cheese

Preparation Instructions

Bring 4 1/2 cups water to a boil.

Add cornmeal to the water in a thin stream, whisking constantly to avoid lumps.

Reduce heat to a simmer, and cook for 15 minutes, adding salt and extra tablespoons of water as needed.

When polenta is done, stir in butter and goat cheese. Check seasonings, and add salt to taste.

One of my favorite cooking blogs is Annie’s Eats, and a lot of that has to do with her pictures. I had a go at her recipe for Smores cupcakes. I wanted to bring something in to the office where I’ve been rotating, and these seemed like a worthy choice. The physician I’m working with is allergic to basically everything but eggs and chocolate. You might recognize her from  the Little Giants. Minus the foam padding.  Anyways, these looked really good, and I don’t think they will invite anaphylaxis.

I’ve heard many times that baking is a much more exact science than cooking, and I believe that. It’s really just tasty chemistry. I took organic chemistry. And I definitely want to consider myself a scientifically-oriented person. You know, the kind that can.. pay attention to detail?

Well.

I really hope I don’t fail at life like I do at baking. Do you think these cupcakes look cute? Well guess what..these are the best few of my SECOND batch of 24. I had to do a dry run earlier in the week (I’m SO aware of my baking shortcomings). I learned some secrets.

Like:

Make sure you make the graham cracker layer thick enough so that it doesn’t burn. I used a little more than a tablespoon for each cupcake the second time, and it was much better. I used the bottom of a shot glass to smoosh it down. Voila:

After baking them for about 4 minutes, I sprinkled on the chocolate and put it back in for another minute. This way you avoid the burnty taste.

Mmm. This looks melty. Not burnty.

When you add the boiling water to the cake batter.. do it SLOWLY. Otherwise you get tons of bubbles. And you have to stand there for 20 minutes popping the bubbles with a toothpick. And you kind of like it.

I only poured in 3/4 of a cup of boiling water the second time. I think it was better. Don’t be afraid to fill the cupcake papers up pretty far. They keep their pleasant plump.

If you are in the habit of baking cupcakes, you should definitely try icing them using a DISPOSABLE icing bag. It makes life so much easier. I used a big star-shaped tip, and singed the tops using a kitchen butane torch. Actually it was the most fun part!  If you have kids, you could let them help with this part. Unless you don’t like house fires. Seriously, be careful, because I lit the cupcake papers on fire more than once.

These are yummy! Try them. Here’s a link to Annie’s page.