Cook Yourself a Husband: the Marlboro Man sandwich

February 19, 2010

Truest story ever told: When I made this sandwich for my boyfriend, the first sentence out of his mouth after taking a bite started with “If we get married..”

That, ladies, must be the power of meat, and magic. Some people call the magic ‘love’, but I usually just call it butter.

Fair-ish warning: This is not a sandwich for every day. This is definitely not a sandwich for those look-in-the-mirror-what-the-hell-is-THAT-bulge kind of days. This is best on a cold day, after you have been outside in the snow (like when you carry groceries in from the car), and someone that will be eating this has done some kind of physical labor. (Umm, it’s totally fine to glom onto their calorie-expenditure. These sandwiches won’t cook themselves.) But really, guys LOVE this sandwich. Actually, girls love this sandwich. But guys think about marrying you when they eat this sandwich. I feel that’s a pretty good endorsement.

I wish I could say I made this recipe up, but its another Pioneer Woman recipe. Ugh, she’s so good. It’s annoying. Don’t look at her blog page instead!
Ok, do.

But then make this. You will thank me.

I’m going to put an abbreviated step-by-step here, because the Pioneer Woman has one up too. Redundancy is lame.

Start with the onions. I used little ones from one of those bags of onions. It was such a pain. Just buy yourself one big one. Slice em up!

Saute the onions in 2 T of butter, until they are soft and starting to brown. Remove them from the pan and set aside when they look like this!

Meanwhile, jog to the store and buy yourself some cube steak. It’s the same thing as “extra tenderized round steak” or some such thing. It looks like meat that has tire tracks in it. Slice it into strips, slicing against the grain.

Confession: I always get a little bit nervous when people tell me to slice against the grain.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell! Actually it’s not, but I’m always second-guessing myself. It’s weird. Just cut at a right angle to the tire tracks.

Sprinkle some Lawry’s seasoning salt all over the meat. You can pretty much put on however much you want. For me, that meant about 15 shakes. I was using a little over 2 pounds of meat.

Now you’ve gotta heat up 2 more tablespoons of butter over high heat, and when it starts to brown, add the meat into the pan. Let it brown on the first side. Try not to move the meat around and check it every 15 seconds to see if it is going to brown (me). Flip it, try to brown the other side. There was too much liquid in the pan for me at this point to accomplish that. It doesn’t matter. Just let it get nice and grayish. Mmm.

Ready to finish it off? Add in 1/2 cup of worcestershire sauce, and 5-6 good shakes of tabasco sauce. You can add more of either if you want it saucier or spicier. Add in (brace yourself) 2 more tablespoons of butter. Mix everything up, and add back in the onions. How simple is that??

Butter some hoagie rolls, and brown them. I did it by putting them butter-side-down in a non-stick pan, over med-high heat. You could use the broiler too. Don’t ask me how! I’m not a broiler-er.

Spoon some meat and onions into a bun, and then spoon some of the sauce over top!

Now eat it.

Who said life isn’t easy??

The Marlboro Man Sandwich

from The Pioneer Woman Cooks

  • 1 whole Large (or 2 Small) Onions
  • 2 sticks Butter (lots And Lots Of Butter)        Note: I didn’t use 2 sticks. More like 1.
  • 2 pounds (to 3 Pounds) Cube Steak
  • Lawry’s Seasoned Salt (or Similar Seasoned Salt)
  • ½ cups (approximately) Worcestershire Sauce
  • Tabasco Sauce, To Taste
  • 4 whole French/deli Rolls (earthgrains Are Best!)
Preparation Instructions

Slice onions and cook in 1/4 stick butter until soft and light brown. Remove and set aside.

Slice cube steak against the grain. Season with Lawry’s.

Heat 2 tablespoons butter over high heat (in same skillet) until melted and beginning to brown. Add meat in single layer. Cook one side until brown, then flip and cook until brown, about a minute on both sides.

Add 1/2 cup (at least) Worcestershire sauce, 5 to 6 shakes Tabasco, and 2 tablespoons butter. Add cooked onions. Stir to combine.

Butter halved French rolls and brown in skillet.

To assemble, lay bottom half of French roll on plate. Place meat mixture, followed by a spoonful of juice from the pan. Top with other half of roll, cut in half, and devour!


One comment

  1. Where I went wrong: Cooking for family members.

    Also, put up the stuff on the pizza! Your public wants to know.

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